Top Ten Films of 2025

 

So, here is my list for the top ten films of 2025. Only five months late! I decided to do things a little bit different this year. Instead of just making a top ten list, and starting with a few honorable mentions, I am going to pair each film on my list with another film from 2025 that I admired and I think would make a good companion

10. Battersea

Written by T.J. Sandella and Jad Atkins.

Directed by T.J. Sandella and John Anthony

The story is nothing new: Estranged siblings Lou and Les hash out their issues after their mother dies. Honestly, I saw this movie at the Twin Cities Film Fest where I saw at least two other films with very similar plots. What puts Battersea a level ahead of other films of this type is the incredible focus it gives to the story. There are no subplots, no large of cast of lovable supporting players. There is just a brother and sister. I mean, there is technically a third character, they have maybe two minutes of screen time early on in the film. Once the story starts, Battersea is a long series of dialogue scenes as the siblings try to come to grips with their upbringing. Of course, this type of laser focus can be a risky gambit, with no wacky neighbors to cut away to if scene isn’t working. Fortunately, the dialogue is sharp, and the two lead performances are very earnest and believable. In a strange way, the film’s intimate focus actually makes the story feel larger, as it allows the story to zoom in so close to its characters. If you love intimate character dramas like I do, this is one you need to look out for. This is also a first film for the writers and directors, and I look forward to seeing what they do next.

I would be remiss if I didn’t make a joke about the absurd low budget of this film. “Why Dave, how low budget is it,” you ask? It is so low budget, co-writer/co-director T.J. Sandella actually follows ME on Letterboxd! Yep, I have three followers, and he is one of them. He told me that he anticipates Battersea being available to stream fairly soon. I will update with a streaming location when I find out.

For another dialogue heavy, single setting film, albeit with a more humorous feel, check out Richard Linklaters Blue Moon. It contains some of Ethan Hawks best work. Blue Moon is streaming on Netflix and has an overpriced bluray release.

9. Hamnet

Written by Chloe Zhao and Maggie O’Farrell

Directed by Chloe Zhao

Wrenching story about loss, grief, and (maybe) finding peace set in Elizabethan England, Hamnet contains what might be the year’s best performance by Jessie Buckley as a mother struggling to live her life in the aftermath of a tragedy, and a husband who is not around. Equally important to the films success are the beautiful visuals and flowing editing. Chloe Zhao brings her trademark poetic naturalness to bear, always giving the moment enough time to breath without being rushed, but never dwelling on too long on any one moment. The rest of the cast, and all of the behind the line people are also first rate. There are no weak links to be found anywhere here. Hamnet is streaming on Peacock, widely available to rent, and is on Blu-Ray and 4k.

If you want a different look at a mother in anguish, watch If I had Legs, I’d Kick You. It’s lead performance by Rose Byrne might be the second best performance of the year. It is often listed as a comedy, but good luck laughing! It streams on HBO Max, is available to rent, and on Blu-Ray.

8. The Secret Agent

Written and Directed by Kleber Mendonça Filho

A father attempts to flee persecution in 1977 Brazil. What a wild ride this film is! We have many stories colliding throughout this film. Stories of hitmen, corrupt government officials, anarchist landladies, holocaust survives, political dissidents and refugees, a two-faced cat, and modern day researcher analyzing the story through news paper articles and audio recordings. Oh, and a severed leg that hops around and attacks people. What’s more is this is a languidly paced film, running nearly three hours. With so much going on and so many characters overlapping, this is not an easy watch. This is a film that not only demands you total attention, but requires it. What makes this film work, with its sprawling plot and loaded cast, is the astonishing lead performance by Wagner Moura, who provides the calm center to the storm that is The Secret Agent, and provides the glue that holds the film together. This film is a commitment, but a very worthwhile one. The Secret Agent is streaming on Hulu, is available to rent, and is getting physical release by the Criterion Collection later this year.

If you want another sprawling, emotional film with a strong political backdrop that also centers a father/son relationship, give Sirat a try. This is a film that is constantly morphing from one thing to another, keeping the viewer on their toes. It is streaming on Hulu as well, is available for rent, and has a blu-ray release. Be warned however, this film is BLEAK!

7. All That’s Left of You

Written and Directed by Cherien Dabis

Three generations in the life of a Palestinian family who are displaced from their home during the creation of the state of Israel. Yes, I know comedies exist, and we will get to a couple eventually, but for now, we continue with the hurt. What this film does extremely well is explore the different opinions the three generations have on their current situation, and how to best handle it. There is a key scene between a man, his son, and four Israeli soldiers which is not only really painful to watch, but really brings the generational conflict into a clear light as everyone’s opinions are easily understandable. This is yet another powerful, sprawling political drama. This is available to rent on Fandango, Amazon and many others.

And, if you don’t hate Israel enough yet, give The Voice of Hind Rajab a watch. Although I found some of its film-making to be gimmicky, it tells an undeniably wrenching true story, and will leave you hating everything ever.

6. On Becoming a Guinea Fowl

Written and Directed by Rungano Nyoni

A young, middle-class Zambian woman finds her uncle’s dead body on the side of the road late one night, and sets off a chain reaction that exposes her family’s dirty secrets to anyone brave enough to look for it. It’s an uncomfortable drama that is also surprisingly funny and surreal in spots, and features a strong lead performance by Susan Chardy. Guinea Fowl exposes the intersection between sexism and classism in a fascinating way. It can be particularly disturbing when you find out not only what skeletons this family is hiding in their closet, but what they are willing to ignore to maintain the status quo. This film is streaming on HBO Max, and available to rent at the usual places

For another surprisingly funny family drama, give Sentimental Value a spin. It isn’t nearly as disturbing, but it makes for an easier watch. Very well acted. It is streaming on Hulu, and has a physical release from Criterion.

5. Eternity

Written by Patrick Cunnane and David Freyne

Directed by David Freyne

After dying, people are given one week to figure out how they would like to spend eternity. This becomes an impossible task when a woman has to make an impossible choice between spending eternity with her second husband who she had a family with, or her first husband who died in the Korean war, and has been waiting over half a century for her so they could spend the afterlife together. While this is technically a comedy, I am not sure I laughed once. Instead, I spent the whole runtime trying my hardest not to vomit. I found the central conflict so wrenching and unfair (to the woman and both of her husbands) that I could not find anything funny. It actually gets worse as the movie goes on as, not only are all three main characters generally decent people, but the two men even end up liking each other. Yep, even the comedies that make my top ten are emotionally brutal. I swear I am actually a happy person! Eternity is available to rent via the usual channels. There is, shamefully, no physically release yet.

For those of you saying, “gosh darn it all Dave, I want to laugh and not feel terrible about myself,” you should watch my favorite animated film of 2025 Lesbian Space Princess. There is nothing subtle whatsoever about this film, but it is a total riot! It is out there to rent via sites where films go to be rented, and surprisingly, there is a very good bluray release out there as well!

4. Julie Keeps Quiet

Written by Ruth Becquart and Leonardo Van Dijl

Directed by Leonardo Van Dijl

After the suicide of a young tennis player and the suspension of that girls former coach, 15 year old Julie, who is coached by the same man, finds herself in the middle of a very uncomfortable situation. Despite the plot sounding very “dramatic”, this is a very low-key film as one would expect about a girl who is keeping quiet. This film is all about the inner turmoil faced by Julie, in a brilliant debut performance by Tessa Van den Broeck, as she tries to figure out the right thing to do. The film is completely centered on her to the point she is almost never not on camera. Julie Keeps Quiet paints a very realistic portrayal of a teenager dealing with something no teenager (or anyone) should have to go through. It is available to rent and buy online, but I have to recommend renting this one before buying. I bought it off Fandango at home, and not only was the transfer fairly bad, but there were other visual issues throughout the picture. I then bought it on Amazon, and while the other issues were gone, the transfer was still rather uninspiring. It’s a shame. This film deserves better.

If you would like a very different film about a sadly similar situation, check out Sorry, Baby. It is the writing and directing debut of Eva Victor who, on top of that, also plays the lead character. They are an absolute triple threat. Sorry Baby streams on HBO Max.

3. Sinners

Written and Directed by Ryan Coogler

Twin brothers setup a juke joint in 1920’s Mississippi. Great music, romance, racial tensions, and vampire action ensues. Man, this film is a wild ride! The action is great. The performances are great. The atmosphere, the setting, the music. Good lord, the music! I would pay for admission just to see the musical performances cut together. Ryan Coogler, after many years of good work, was given a chance to make a passion project, and he did not let it go to waste. This is a joyful mashup of genres. If this movie has any fault, it is that Coogler’s reach might slightly exceeds his grasp, but when is the last time you saw a summer blockbuster that you thought might be a bit TOO thematically ambitious? Sinners was an event, and stands as a beacon for what big budget filmmaking should be. It is available on 4k and bluray (just buy it), and can be streamed on HBO Max, and rented elsewhere.

For another offbeat horror film, check out Weapons. Yeah, I know, this may be the obvious choice, but this is a playful, mysterious, suspenseful and very funny horror film that constantly keeps the viewer on their toes. It is not to be missed.

Now, something is about to happen that I rarely ever let happen on ranking lists I make: a tie! I usually don’t do ties, but these two films have been jockeying back and forth for me since I saw them last April. These were my two favorite films at MSPIFF 2025 . They also have one very unfortunate thing in common, so, they are both getting some second place love from me.

2. Tiny Lights

Written and Directed by Beata Parkanova

This Czech film follows a single day in the life of 6 year old Amalka. It just happens to be the day her life changes forever when her parents, who clearly have come to hate each other, separate. What a fascinating, moving film this is! The entire film is from Amalka’s perspective. We don’t hear or see anything she doesn’t. Obviously, we know what is going on, but does she? If she does, how much? Pulling from Parkanova’s own childhood, it is really eye opening to see just how much children witness, even when we adults do our best to shield them from the truth. Unlike Sinners with its grand ambitions, Tiny Lights is content with giving us a window into a situation, and allowing us to watch it play out without commentary. And can we get a round of applause for Mia Banko, who plays Amalka? When we talk about great child performances, they are usually playing characters who are very precocious and wise beyond their years. Here, we have a 6 year old girl, playing a 6 year old girl, who acts like a 6 year old girl. The more I think about that, the more blown away I am!

Tiny Lights is streaming on Film Movement Plus, which has its own website, and is available through Amazon as well. Please watch it. It isn’t even 80 minutes long.

I was having trouble finding a good recommendation for complimentary viewing, so I am actually going back to 2023 and Lila Aviles’ beautiful film Totem. This film has us spending a day in the life of a 7 year old girl, as her family prepares a party for her father. This is too perfect a companion piece to not include here. It streams on the Criterion Channel, has a physical release from Criterion, and can be rented on Fandango and elsewhere.

2. The Wedding Banquet

Directed by Andrew Ahn

Written by Andrew Ahn and James Schamus

This is an absolutely delightful found family film about a gay man who proposes a green card marriage to his friend in exchange for money so her and her wife can try IVF. Whatever you do, please don’t play a drinking game where in you take a shot every time I use the word delightful to describe this film, because you will be dead in minutes. The Wedding Banquet is actually a remake of (and superior to in every conceivable way) a 1993 Ang Lee film of the same name. The four lead actors are all sensational, and have wonderful chemistry together. All of the characters are flawed and interesting. There are no villains here, only relatable people trying, and often failing, to do their best. Did I mention what a delight this film is. Good laughs are had throughout with the “de-queering the house” scene being a comic highlight. If you are wondering what unfortunate thing this and Tiny Lights have in common, that’s easy: no one saw either of them. While a tiny Czech drama not making mainstream waves in the U.S. may not be a surprise, The Wedding Banquet was a mainstream release that came nowhere near making its five million dollar budget back. Such a shame for such a delightful film.

Now, I have to tell a quick story about The Wedding Banquet. I saw it at MSPIFF a few weeks before it had its release nation wide. After seeing it, I came home and told my wife and youngest daughter that this was an absolutely delightful LGBTQ comedy, that they would love it and that they had to come and see it with me when it opened. Surprisingly, they didn’t argue with me, and the three of us went to see it. Walking out of the theater, I excitedly asked what they thought, and my daughter just gave me a little shrug and kept walking, and my wife said nothing. I was more than a little taken aback by this. I know they three of us all have different tastes in film, but I was sure this was going to be a home run for all of us.

Well, a couple weeks later, The Wedding Banquet has tanked at the box office, and I was telling my wife how bad it bombed. My youngest daughter over heard this and said, “that’s too bad. It was such a good movie!” I responded with confusion, telling her that, based on her out of theater reaction, I didn’t think she liked it very much. “Well,” she said, “you told me it was a comedy, so I expected something light and silly. You didn’t tell me it was going to make me cry!” Anyway, a couple months later, the film came out to stream (Paramount +), rent, and rather surprisingly, on blu-ray (buy it now), and my youngest wanted to watch it again. So we did, and a delightful time was had by all. About a week later, I was getting ready for bed, and she asked me if I could put the Wedding Banquet on for her. I told her we had just watched it a week ago. She gives me a sheepish little smile, and says, “I forgot how good it was!”

And how good it is! Delightful even! It is the film from 2025 I have seen the most times. It is one of those films that will play well no matter what mood you are in. The only thing it doesn’t have is action and special effects.

And, if you prefer your found family movies to have lots of action and special effects, you need to check out Predator: Badlands (no, really). It is a surprisingly terrific film. My youngest daughter also liked this one. Thank god for Dan Trachtenberg! He is the reason have gotten three really good Predator films in a row. It streams on Disney +, and can be rented, and has a 4k physical release.

Now, for the better part of 2025, and even into 2026, Tiny Lights and The Wedding Banquet sat at the top of best of 2025 list, and that made me happy to have such a wonderful pair of films as my favorites of the year. Then I watched something else, and to say I was blown away by this would be an understatement. I was not going to include it on my top ten list though, due to a (really stupid) technicality, but more on that later. It was at this point however, that something astonishing happened!

So, I spend a large portion of my workday alone. So, to pass the time, I will talk to myself. It is a good way I find to keep my thoughts straight, and to keep myself amused. So, as I was going about my day, I was going over my top ten list. Trying to decide what film would go where, and why. As I was doing this, this film came up, and here is where the astonishing part comes in. As I was talking to myself, I told myself something I did not already know! You might be thinking that is impossible. If you are talking to yourself, you can’t tell yourself something you don’t know. You have to know it to say it! To which I can only say, I would have agreed with you until this actually happened to me. My interaction with myself played out like this, and yes, this is how it happened and it happened out loud.

Dave: Well, if I included this film, it would have to be my number one.

There is a pause where I allow these words to sink in.

Dave: Wait, is that true?

I realize that is is.

Dave: So Dave, let me get this straight. You are not including your pick for the best film of the year on your top ten based on some half-ass technicality that you decided to make up?! No, this is your number one! You need to deal with it.

So, without further ado, my pick for the best film of 2025, and if forced to choose right now, the best of the decade so far, is...

1. My Undesirable Friends: Part One - Last Air in Moscow

Written and Directed by Julia Loktev

This is a knee-weakeningly astonishing documentary chronicling the last bastion of free press in Russia. The format of the documentary is simple: Julia Loktev embeds herself with several different Russian journalists, all women, mostly from TV Rain, and lets them go about their lives. They talk about their jobs, worries for their country, the attacks on the free press. These women are so smart, funny and courageous that I want to become fluent in Russian just to hang out with them and listen to them speak. However, as Julia is in Russia filming this documentary, fate throws out a cruel twist: Russia invades Ukraine, which completely changes the game for these journalists, who are now forced to flee their beloved country to avoid being jailed (or worse). There are so many amazing, candid and terrifying moments in this film, I don’t even know where to begin!

Now, you might be wondering why I wouldn’t have originally included this one my list, as it sounds riveting! Well, My Undesirable Friends: Part One is 5 hours and 24 minutes long. My first thought was it should have been a miniseries, and not a feature film. This was stupid talk, however. First, I very rarely watch TV, so had it been a miniseries, I would likely have never seen it, and second, the only limit on how long a feature film can be is whether the film can sustain its runtime. Last Air in Moscow is completely engrossing from the first minute to its last. It is easily the finest piece of cinema I saw in 2025.

Now, My Undesirable Friends: Part One - Last Air in Moscow is streaming on Mubi (they will also have the upcoming My Undesirable Friends: Part Two - Exile once that releases). Please, don’t be daunted by the films runtime. It is broken up into 5 chapters. The first chapter runs about 84 minutes, and the rest are about an hour each. Watch it however is easiest for you: binge it, do a chapter a night, a half-hour here and there. Just don’t miss this!

Now, if you are located in the United States like I am, and you want to see a film about government censorship closer to home, watch the documentary The Librarians. When book bans become the order of the day for ideologically backwards and regressive people, librarians become a front-line defense against censorship. I believe this can be streamed through the PBS app, and via Kanopy if you have a library card (you better have a library card!)

I hope this list has given you a few new films to check out. Thanks for reading, now get out there and see some movies!

The Halloween Series, part II

Before we talk about Halloween 4 proper, I want to mention the idea John Carpenter and Debra Hill wanted to pursue for this fourth film.  They had the idea that Haddonfield banned Halloween out of fear of Michael Myers.  In their efforts to keep the memory of Michael Myers buried, the fear they create ends up bringing him back.  I actually like this idea.  Of course, it would need a good treatment, and the right people behind the camera, but I liked that it was going to move past the sister plot, and bring Michael back as on object of pure fear.  Of course, after the “flop” that was Halloween III, the powers that be (executive producer Mustapha Akkad) didn’t want to back another “concept movie.”  He didn’t like the idea, and with that, Carpenter and Hill sell off their share in the Halloween series and depart forever (this was true when I wrote it several years ago.  Carpenter is actually returning to the franchise as a producer).

Akkad wanted to go back to the basics of the original.  Words that should be coming to mind when you read “back to the basics” are: copy, derivative, uninspired, unoriginal and of course, inferior.  While these words may accurately describe Halloween 4: the Return of Michael Myers, the fact is that if you like slasher films, and have a particular affinity for the Halloween series, number four here isn’t bad.

Before we continue, we need to bring the term “retcon” into our mutual vocabulary.  It stands for retroactive continuity.  To recon something means to change something pre-established as fact.  For example, we both know that Michael Myers and Dr. Loomis died in a fiery blast at the end of Halloween 2.  At least that’s what we thought, anyway.  Turns out they are both alive and well.  Myers I can believe.  After all, he isn’t human (as the dozen or so bullets and multiple stab wounds he lived through can attest).  So, what’s a little fire?  On the other hand, for Loomis to have survived, with naught but some scaring on his right side, is hard to believe, even by the standards of this series.  Also, fiery blast induced comas, apparently, are great for the physique, because damn, did Myers power up for this film.  Not only does he survive what is basically a firing squad (and getting hit by a car, beat, etc), but he is now able to jab his thumb through someone’s skull.  He was always extremely strong, but this takes it to the next level.

As far as the plotting goes, Halloween 4 is trying to ape Halloween 2 by way of the original.  It tries to borrow the feeling of normal suburbia invaded that Carpenter created, but is still has Myers trying to kill his next of kin, now his nine-year-old niece Jamie.  So yeah, thanks again Halloween 2.  Now the whole series is saddled with that asinine plot development.  As far as 4 goes however, the whole film is unoriginal from top to bottom.  There is very little that is new or groundbreaking here.

With all of that, why would I call this film decent?  As derivative as this film is, it copies enough right of the right stuff to make it worthwhile to fans of the genre.  First, it is time to put the original Halloween out of your head.  No other film in this series will come close to it.  Make peace with that and then you can accept some of these films on their own merits.  What are those merits, pray-tell?  Well…

Dwight Little does a good job creating a realistic environment for the slaughter.  The houses, streets and people all create a believable town.  The chase scenes are well staged, and with the exception of Myers seemingly being able to teleport around town, don’t strain credibility too much.

The script does a reasonably good job at keeping the story simple.  Slasher films that try and add “depth” to their plot by adding motive to the killer or complicated backstories tend to end up tripping over themselves.  Halloween 2 and unfortunately, 5 and 6 are examples of this.  Of course, the problem that you run into is that, if they don’t try to add plot twists, it becomes, literally, the same story over and over again.  Of course, that means slasher films really shouldn’t franchise, but whatever…  Here,   Myers is trying to kill his niece, and that is that.  The vigilante mob and love triangle sub-plots don’t amount to much, but at least they tie into the main thrust of the film, and in reality, not too much time is spent there, anyway.  The love triangle in particular I wish had been excised.  Had Rachel and Brady had been in a stable relationship, it would have made Brady’s sacrifice more moving.

The dialogue is a little rough sometimes.  It generally does the job, but there are some howlers.  When the vigilantes accidently kill an innocent man, the leader’s reaction (aided by a delivery that sounds more annoyed than anything) is, “shit Stu, that’s Ted Holister.”  That cracks me up every time.  Also, Alan B. McElroy doesn’t really have a handle on how children talk.  Jamie doesn’t talk like a 9-year-old, and seems to have lost her inner monologue.  These aren’t deal breakers, but are worth mentioning.

The supporting actors do a fair job, of particular note is Beau Starr as sheriff Meeker.  I like that he takes Loomis’ warning seriously, as opposed to ignoring him until there is a body count, and actually tries to take steps to keep the town safe.  The majority of the credit for the film working, however, falls at the feet of our two lead actresses: Elle Cornell and Danielle Harris.  Cornell, as Rachel Carruthers, is a terrifically likable presence, and pulls off the role of girl next door and devoted big sister perfectly.  She is exactly the kind of hero a film like this needs.  You immediately grow attached to her and actually care whether or not she lives.  That isn’t something to be taken for granted in a film like this.  Harris, as Jamie Lloyd, manages to convince as a child in peril without ever becoming annoying.  This is quite a feat for her, especially since she is saddled with some rather unfortunate dialogue.  It is doubly impressive since she spends most of the movie in a haunted, almost dour mood.  Donald Pleasence is fine as the increasingly crazy Dr. Loomis, but we will talk more about him in the next film.

The reason anyone remembers this film is the ending, however.  I have to admit, when I saw this film for the first time (I think I was a freshman in high school), the ending kind of gave me the creeps.  Maybe I had let my guard down, but I didn’t see it coming.  The image of Jamie standing there in her bloody clown costume, having just killed her step mom, with Loomis screaming, terrified in the corner, is a hauntingly perfect note to close the film on for two reasons.   First, it’s a creepy, and that’s how you want to end a horror film.  Second, and even more importantly, it is the perfect end to the series.  It brings the story full circle.  Michael Myers is dead, but now his niece repeated his crime, and will, in turn, become the boogeyman.  Why did this happen?  Evil, that’s why.  Beyond that, we don’t know, and we don’t need to know.  That’s why it works.  Evil has once again become unpredictable and unstoppable.  It ends with the exact same question the first film asked in the beginning.  

Halloween 4 acts as a reboot of the series in a way.  They took the story that had been established in the previous films, changes some things they found problematic with the last film and moved forward.   It deals with mostly new characters and starts the story afresh (fresh in a derivative way).   The retcons in this film don’t bother me like those of Halloween 2.  We have already thrown continuity to the wind.  While 2 rendered problematic the (actually) brilliant first film, 4 merely changes some facts from the ending of an already inferior film.  The fact that 4 is better than 2 makes it easy to accept.

So, that’s what you have: two strong performances, a well thought out ending, and a derivative but reasonably well done story.  In truth, this is more than you will get from your average slasher film, and it is enough to make Halloween 4 worth a look for anyone who loves slasher films.  There is one other problem I have yet to mention, however.  You see, despite being a fine ending for the series that never really meant to be a series, Halloween 4 made a good amount of money, so that could only mean one thing…

Halloween 5: the Revenge of Michael Myers, or, as it is known in some circles, That Massive Dump I Just Took.

Yep, this film takes a Cleveland steamer all over the fourth film.  Oh where to begin?  Well, let’s start with the retconning of the wonderful ending that closed out the last film.  Remember what I wrote about the fourth film being smart keeping its plot simple?  Well, there is a good reason for that.  If things start happening that require an explanation to work and you don’t adequately explain them, it will seem really half-assed.  Of course, if you explain it away, you risk making the already absurd beyond ridiculous, but we will get to that when we talk about the next film.  Here, we are half-assing it.  It turns out that Jamie only attacked (not killed) her step mom at the end of the last film because Michael told her to.  See, they now have a telepathic bond.  How, you ask?  We don’t know, and more importantly, neither do the writers.

After Halloween 4 was a success, they immediately rushed part 5 into production.  The reasonably well thought out plot of the fourth film was replaced with an unfinished rough draft.  The plot wanders aimlessly between set pieces, and it piles up plot contrivances.  Not only are we expected to believe that, for some reason, Jamie and Michael now have a special psychic connection, but Loomis starts speaking about a “rage” driving Michael that will consume him.  Loomis tells Myers that he needs to return to his childhood home, so Jamie can take away his rage.  Not only does Michael actually show up for his therapy, but his childhood house (but a normal suburban house in the last three films) is now a mansion.  What is this driving rage you ask and how could Jamie help him?  We don’t know, because, more importantly, neither do the writers.

It is this vagueness that permeates the film.  It sort of has the structure of a slasher film, but not really.  I guess Myers still wants to kill his niece, but he doesn’t have any urgency.  He seems to wander around, killing people here and there, hoping that Jamie would eventually cross his path.  Why does he want to kill her?  I know she is family, but that reason barely held water in the last two films.  They are well past the point they can leave that question hanging there.  So, we have questions that are barely asked, let alone answered.  We have a story that just lingers there without building to anything.  A killer that seems to be farting around town… looking his lost shaker of salt, maybe?   Does this film have anything definitively good, or at least definitive, about it?

Well, it does have the wonderful Elle Corrnell back as Rachel Carruthers.  At least, they had her for 20 minutes or so before they kill her off.  A film filled with half thoughts and aimless wandering, and the only thing definitive they lay down is killing off the best thing the film had going for it.  Now mind you, I have nothing against killing off likable main characters in a shocking manner.  There are few films I adore more than Psycho, for example.  Of course, had Halloween 5 been directed by Alfred Hitchcock and written by Joseph Stephano, they might have pulled it off.  But it wasn’t, and her death was a huge mistake, one the executive producer Mustapha Akkad even admitted to.  Rachel doesn’t even get a good death scene.  At least they get her naked before she dies.  Am I right, guys?  Am I right?  … sigh

Now, to those who think that I am over praising Ellie Cornell, and her presence in these films, I command you to look upon Wendy Kaplan and DISPARE!!!  I’m not saying that it is an award caliber performance, but films like this need likable central characters like Rachael to anchor the story.  See, for everything that Ellie’s Rachel Carruthers is (strong, likable, easily relatable); Wendy’s Tina Williams is opposite.  She is shrill, annoying and absolutely the last person you want to be watching for the next 90 minutes or so.  The fact that Tina and Rachel share a few moments together before Rachel dies makes the disparity between characters ever more pronounced.  I am not saying that all films, even all slasher films, need to have the same kind of likable protagonist (in fact, a later film in this series is a wonderful exception), but if they insist on following the formula already set out by the films that have come before, then having a character you are supposed to root for become so annoying is a major mistake.

When Tina dies protecting Jamie, we don’t feel a loss, we just thank our lucky stars that we don’t have to watch Wendy Kaplan anymore.  Now, imagine if you will, that Tina never existed, and that Rachel returned as Jamie surrogate big sister and protector.  Rachel taking a knife so that Jamie could escape would have been the exact kind of moment this film needed.  Her death would actually have an emotional impact on the audience.  The film is sorely lacking any real emotional involvement by the audience, and this would have been a huge improvement.  The rest of the supporting cast is either forgettable, or even worse, annoying like Tina.  So, we need not bother discussing them.  

Going back to the aimless quality of the film, I still didn’t mention the strange old who lives by the river and nurses Myers back to health.  Myers just lies there for a year; I guess being fed by this man.  Did he bath Myers too?  If he didn’t, imagine the smell.  Or how about the strange man in black, who spends the whole movie wandering around only to pop up at the last minute to break Michael Myers out of prison?  There were theories flying around the cast as to who the man in black was.  Of course, none of them knew for sure because, say it with me folks, NEITHER DO THE WRITERS.  

The irony of all this is, perhaps because I was expecting this film to be terrible (possibly the worst in the series), it was easier for me to pick out the few things Halloween5 did do well.

1. 1. There is a crackerjack chase scene where Jamie gets caught in a laundry chute.  As a self-contained set piece, it is very well done.
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3. 2.Speaking of Jamie, Danielle Harris turns in a terrific performance.  The fact that she is mute in the first half of the film is a dual blessing: it gives Ms. Harris a chance to do some good non-verbal acting, and it allows her to avoid the film’s crappy dialogue.
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5. 3.Dr. Loomis seems truly insane in this film.  You get the impression he would gladly let Jamie, or anyone else die, as long as it would allow him to stop Michael Myers.  This is a fascinating idea, and it could have made for a great film.  Suppose instead of a hero, Loomis became, in essence, another villain, in his effort to stop Myers.  It is a shame the film didn’t (or couldn’t) go there.
6. 
   
7. 4.Before a really annoying couple has sex, they make a point about the guy putting on a condom.  Yay safe sex!

You get the impression that the writers were called to Akkad’s Office and asked if they had any ideas for a 5th Halloween.  The writers mentioned the idea of Jamie being traumatized and mute, and of Loomis becoming dangerous in his obsession, and Akkad responds by telling them to add some dialogue to those thoughts and have it on his desk by tomorrow.  The screenplay, for all the reasons stated above, feels unfinished.  Akkad, a man who would have milked this franchise until he tore the udders off, even admitted this film was a rush job, and that they should have given it another year.

In a very funny way, Halloween 5 is the sequel most like the original.  The first film also was somewhat aimless and uneventful.  The difference is that, in John Carpenter, it had a craftsman that knew how to wring unbearable amounts of suspense out of those moments of nothing, and the screenplay was written knowing that.  Halloween5 is what the original would have looked like without that talent behind the camera.  That is how this film stands.  Despite a few interesting ideas, it is a film without a coherent idea of where it wants to go.  The worst thing Halloween 5 does is throw a whole bunch of questions into the air, with no idea how to answer them, and leave it up to the next film to deal with them.  And, if you feel like opening up THAT can of worms…

Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers 

I have a great deal of sympathy for Daniel Fairrens.  He couldn’t win.  If you are going to follow Halloween 5, and not just reboot, you have to deal with that shitstorm of questions that were left hanging.   You aren’t beginning with a clean slate; you are starting backed into a corner.   But Daniel Fairrens has balls.  He doesn’t just try to pick up the pieces left by the last film, he tries to answer every possible question anyone could have (but really should never ask) from the Halloween series.  Trying to tie all of these films together into one coherent mythology is a fool’s errand.   He goes for it though:  Ancient cults, blood magic, familial rituals, amazing coincidence, retcons.  By god, he will fit this square peg into that round hole.  Of course, it goes without saying that the film doesn’t work, but I can’t lie and say it isn’t an interesting massive, messy failure of a film.  Where does one even begin?  

So, Jamie, after being kidnapped at the end of the last film, is being held captive by a strange cult.  She is 9 months pregnant (and Michael is the father, so yes, rape and incest are a thing in this movie) and the film begins with her giving birth.  She escapes with her baby, but Michael tracks her down and kills her, but her baby finds his way into the hands of Tommy Doyle, the little boy Laurie babysat for it the original, who is now obsessed with Myers.  Loomis, dragged into service again by Doctor Wynn (the doctor from one scene in the first film), also reappears and Tommy tells him that Myers is part of the ancient cult of Thorn, and that every generation; one member of the cult would be anointed, and for the good of the whole society, would slaughter his whole family.  So, that is why Michael is always trying to off his relatives!  Also, it turns out the relatives of the Strodes (the family that adopted Laurie) have moved into Myers old house (because, of course they have).  The father is an abusive asshole, the mother is kindly, and the twenty something daughter has a young son (conceived out of wedlock), much to the chagrin of her jerk father.  Her son, Danny, has been starting to act strange.

Anyway, to make a short story long, Wynn and others are part of this cult, Michael is going to transfer his curse to Danny, and Danny will kill his family, and Jamie’s baby for some reason.  It ends when I don’t know what happens.  Tommy stops Michael with some runes and a little blood magic.  Maybe Loomis becomes part of the cult against his will, or maybe becomes the new Myers?  I’m not really sure.   The sequel was going to provide answers (and it actually knew the answers as I believe this film only made up the first half of the screenplay that Fairrens wrote).  Sound like a movie you want to see?  Not really?

 Well, that’s what the people said.  As this was the first Halloween film made for a major studio (Dimension), it was subject to test screenings.  The ending didn’t test so well, so that meant reshoots.  The problem here is that by now, Donald Pleasence had died.  So, nothing new for Loomis could be shot (obviously [this was written before seeing Rogue One]).  What they ended up doing wasn’t so much change the plot as remove chunks of it.  Instead of continuing the cult’s curse of having someone murder their whole family, they are just trying to harness Meyer’s evil.  Harness it for what?  To what end?  As an unkillable assassin?   An attempt to build a new world order?  As a clean source of energy? We don’t know.

Instead of the ceremony to transfer the curse to Danny,  the cultists are going to perform some surgery on Kara’s baby (why, again, we don’t know) and Myers comes in and starts killing everyone (why, again, again, we don’t  know).  Myers gets beaten down with pipes and chemicals, and, I guess kills Loomis.  Unlike the original cut (known as the producer’s cut), which posed questions that it would later answer, the theatrical cut just makes no sense.

Let’s get this out of the way right now; the producer’s cut is easily the better of the two.  It isn’t a good movie by any means, but at least it is a REAL film.  It sets out a story that it follows to its conclusion.  It follows its own internal logic (as wacked as it may be).  It is shot and cut like a professional film, and without the stupid, in your face, extreme jump cuts in the theatrical version that are, I guess, supposed to be scary, but aren’t in any way.  The theatrical release is a great deal gorier, however.

There are some tradeoffs though.  Although the producer’s cut does add back a good amount of Dr. Loomis’ scenes (a plus), they also add new moments with Dr. Wynn (a minus).  As played by Mitchell Ryan, who chews the scenery with an unholy vigor, it can actually be painful to watch.  With that exception, the cast is, more or less, fine.  There is nothing Oscar winning going on here, but nothing that would net you a Razzie, either.  It is fun seeing the 26 year old Paul Rudd, and marveling at how he looks almost exactly the same at 47.

Issues with performance and direction (in the producer’s cut anyway) are almost completely moot, as there is no way for the film to succeed no matter how good the talent.  For all his effort, there really wasn’t any way for Fairrens to really pull this off.  The Halloween series really was at the end of the road here.  You have taken a story that, by design, was simplicity itself, and to keep it alive, you are trying to graft onto it a mythology that the story doesn’t need, want, or is even able to sustain.

What is interesting is that The Curse of Michael Myers does actually pay reference to the idea of Haddonfield banning Halloween.  Granted, it does nothing with this idea.  It just exists as a background plot point.  There is so much plot in this movie that there isn’t room for anything else.  And before you go and pick this film up thinking it might be an unintentional laugh riot, it never quite hits that low.  It is just the regular old bad.

Despite this movie being bonkers, and full of things you might think are worth talking about, I find myself at a loss to say much more.  It should tell you something that, despite all the shenanigans, the most compelling parts of the film deal with the familial relations in the Strode house.  At least that made sense.  As for everything else, I wish some runes and blood magic would make it go away.  A more modern comparison for the kind of goofiness we experience here is the last James Bond film, SPECTRE, in how it tried to tell us that the last three films were all interconnected, and one master villain was behind it all.  The fact that it was a preposterous notion, and that SPECTRE was easily the weakest of the Daniel Craig Bond films, made it really hard to swallow, much like Halloween 6.  Although, to be honest, I would rather watch Halloween 6 again than SPECTRE.  Make of that as you will.  

So, where does that leave us?

So, what do we have here?  We have one run-of-the-mill slasher film that is buoyed by two very likeable performances and a nifty ending.  We have one quick cash-in that has no clear purpose or direction.  Finally, we have one film that is… a failed attempt to make something from nothing, I guess.  It should tell you something that the best sequels are the ones that try to do the least with the story.  I think, although this might have been an accident, Halloween 5 had the best sequel material buried within it.  Since Myers never really changes, make the film about Loomis, who is so desperate to catch him that he starts turning homicidal himself.  That could have been interesting.  Actually make the story about the characters.  Still, I think it is worth something that John Carpenter wanted to take the series back to its more primal roots, and away from this family absurdness.  The fact is that, despite the fact I do like the 4th a bit, should never have been made.  But the almighty dollar rules all.  And, wouldn’t you know it, three years after the release of the Curse of Michael Myers, Halloween found its way back to the big screen, but this time, something was different.

Cedar Point: America's Rockin' Roller Coast

I had the good fortune to spend a week on vacation with my family (immediate and a large collection of in-laws). During this week, our travels took us to Sandusky, Ohio, the home of Cedar Point.  For those of you who don't know, Cedar Point is an amusement park known for one thing above all else: roller coasters.  It's nickname, in fact, is "the coaster capital of the world".  As of this writing, Six Flags Magic Mountain actually has two more roller coasters than Cedar Point, but that doesn't change the fact that Cedar Point is a bastion of thrill rides.  The Point, as the second oldest amusement park in the country, has a very interesting story, but this isn't a history of Cedar Point (and if you want that, there are many resources available to you), this is a ranking of their 17 wonderful, and not so wonderful, roller coasters.  So, without further ado, lets take the plunge.  If you want to take a look at any of these rides: https://www.cedarpoint.com/things-to-do/roller-coasters

Honorable mention: Pipe Scream

This ride spins, and I can't spin.  So, I didn't ride it.

16th: Mean Streak


When it was built, Mean Streak was the tallest and fastest wooden roller coaster in the world.  Now, only its looks remain.  This is an amazingly imposing structure, both gorgeous and terrifying.  Unfortunately, once you are on the ride, the fun goes away, never to be seen again.  There is no airtime, no great lateral jolts, no surprise turns or drops, and thanks to the heavy breaks applied in the middle of the FIRST DROP, no speed either.  A really rough, headache inducing ride.  No fun to be had here.  Now, Mean Streak has a sister coaster called the Texas Giant.  The Giant, which was always considered to be the better ride, has recently been revamped with steel track and other tweaks, supposedly breathing new into it.  Perhaps that would help Mean Streak find a ride worth of its structure.  As for right now... skip it!



15th: Wicked Twister


I just don't find monotony that fun.  You get launched forward up the spiral, then backwards up the other spiral, then rinse and repeat a few times, and that is it.  It should be said that the more repetitive nature does give me motion sickness more than "real" roller coasters, but beyond that, I don't feel the dynamic thrills that roller coasters can offer are alive on the Wicked Twister.  I know people who love this ride, and if that is you, great.  I am glad you like it, but it just doesn't do anything for me.  At least, however, it doesn't physically hurt to ride.  You may not enjoy the ride that much, but at least you wont regret it.



14th: Corkscrew

When it opened in 1976, this was the first roller coaster to take riders upside down three times.  As such, it is a classic.  As a ride, however, it has not aged well.  It is a showpiece for the one vertical loop and two corkscrews.  The ride goes: drop, small hill, loop, turn, corkscrew, corkscrew, end.  Were it not a historically important roller coaster, I'm not sure it would still be here.  I rank it above Wicked Twister because it still has more variety than that, and Valley Fair's clone of this ride is the first coaster
I ever went on.  Still, this is an easy one to skip, as there are much better rides with more daring inversions at this park.


13th: Wilderness Run


This is one of Cedar Point's kiddie coasters, originally called Jr Gemini.  The fact is I would rather watch my youngest daughter ride this than I would ride any of those listed above.  No offence meant to the Corkscrew, but it was really cute how excited she got when talking about this and...






12th: Woodstock Express

This one I could actually ride with my daughter.  This is bigger than your average children's coaster, which makes it a good stepping stone ride.  Obviously, this and Wilderness Run are sentimental picks, but as this is my list, I can do that.







11th: Cedar Creek Mine Ride

This is one small step above the Woodstock Express.  It is a very mellow, but still enjoyable mine train roller coaster set in the woods and over a small lake.  The location and feel of the coaster are nice, and after some of the more thrilling rides, it can be nice to tackle something more mild.  I was able to sneak my daughter on this ride despite her being an inch too short, and she loved it.  The 48inch restriction on this seems a little silly.







10th: Iron Dragon

Similar to the Mine Ride in its setting, Iron Dragon beats it out by virtue of being slightly more intense, and being the only suspended roller coaster at Cedar Point.  There are some nice turns during the first half of the ride, and the pretzel like finale over the lake is pretty cool.  All in all, it is a fun, but rather slight ride.  Suspended roller coaster can produce a very unique ride as they are not that common, and I wish this one had a little more bite.  The Bat, at King's Island, which I rode two days prior, is a much stronger ride.


9th: Blue Streak

A classic wooden roller coaster.  A simple out and back design sporting some pretty decent airtime.  It may not be anything fancy, but when the bigger rides in the area have lines stretching as far as the eye can see, you can usually get on this one pretty quick and have a good time.  There is a reason simple designs like this are still being used.  It works.






8th: Rougarou

Although Cedar Point is saying this coaster is "New for 2015", a more accurate phrase would be, "Slightly Different for 2015".  This ride was actually built in 1996.  They called it Mantis, and it was a stand-up roller coaster.  Of course, it put a lot of pressure on the legs, and it wasn't to my great surprise that Cedar Point decided to close it down.   In 2014, had its last run. (In fact, Stand-up roller coasters on the whole seem to have fallen out of vogue).  Not wanting to waste a pretty good design, Cedar Fairs (the owner of Cedar Point) repainted the track and added new floorless trains, creating Rougarou, their first floorless roller coaster.  I don't find the floorless gimmick to add much to the ride.  As for the ride itself, it is pretty smooth with four large inversion elements and a fairly crazy spaghetti bowl of a finale.  The problem is that it was designed as a stand up coaster, and the layout looses some of its intensity in this new format.  Don't get me wrong, this is still a very good ride; it just isn't as memorable as the ones that follow


7th: Gatekeeper



Cedar Points first wing coaster is a real winner.  Sitting far off the sides of the track really adds to the feeling of flight, having a much bigger impact on the ride than the floorless coaster does.  Opening with upside down diving first drop, the Gatekeeper has several great inversions, including what might be the best corkscrew loop I have experienced, leading to a great near miss of the supporting structure.  Then, with about 25% of the ride left, the ride hits a brake section where they slow the trains down, and then... a couple little drops, and maybe a turn...  Quite frankly, the ending of this ride is a real dud.  I don't get how such an exciting and exhilarating ride could end of such a dull note, but it does.  Due to that, I can't rank this any higher.


6th: Magnum XL-200

At 205 feet, this was the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world when it opened in 1989.  Obviously, it no longer holds those records, but this ride still kicks ass.  The first two drops are still quite potent, and the first tunnel has you fearing for you head.  After a rough turn around, there are a series of bunny hills (small hills for the purpose of providing airtime when you go over them) back to the station.  On some roller coasters, airtime will make you feel like you are floating out of your seat.  Some, you feel like you are being launched out.  On the Magnum, you feel like you are being ejected!  When I say this ride kicks ass, I am being completely literal.  With every hop, you feel like someone is kicking you in the ass so hard, you are flying our of your seat.  Someone likened it to a bucking bronco, and that feels accurate.  There is a feeling of wildness that will never get old.  I rode this with my sister-in-law, and during those crazy hills something she had been sitting on came flying out from under her and hit someone a few seats back.  This was hilariously captured by the one ride photo, as well.  This ride is killer.  Just remember, this is not, in any way, a smooth steel roller coaster.  If you are feeling sore, stay away!


5th: Top Thrill Dragster

This sucker launches you forward, accelerating to 120 miles per hour in 3.8 seconds.  Then you go straight up 420 feet, and then go straight down 420 feet.  This ride, but especially that launch, is the most exhilarating, breathtaking (again, literally) experience I have had on a ride.  I foolishly decided to shout "GERONIMO!" just as we were about to launch, meaning I started with no breath.  I was gasping for air when the ride came to an end 17 seconds later.  Yep, you read that right, and you now know why this ride only ranked 5th.  It is only 17 seconds long.   And as awesome as those 17 seconds are, this is the roller coaster equivalent of a terrible price to performance ratio.  Add to that the fact that this ride goes down with mechanical issues a lot (it did so at least three times the day I rode it), and this is a ride I want to adore, but just can't quite love it like I wish I could.  Obviously, I'm not saying don't ride it, because it produces an amazing sensation, but falls short of the total package that some other rides here provide.


4th: Gemini

Ranking this above Rougarou, Gatekeeper, Magnum and Top Thrill Dragster, may be my most controversial choice, but, despite being fairly large, and being in the middle of the park, and having been the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world when it opened in 1978, I think Gemini is Cedar Points best kept secret.  Gemini is the only roller coaster I have ever been on where I have probably spent more time riding it than I have in line waiting to ride it.  That's not a joke or an exaggeration.  Due to a combination of Gemini being an older ride, and the fact that, as a dual tracked racing coaster, it can handle almost twice as many riders per hour as any other coaster there.  A long wait means 15 minutes, but go at the right time, and you are walking right into the loading station, waiting for the train to pull up.  Of course, none of this matters if the ride isn't fun, and Gemini is a blast.  This ride offers good airtime and some surprisingly deep drops.  If you have a good crowd, there is also a fun rivalry between the red and blue trains as they race.  Gemini may not reinvent the wheel or do anything crazy, but it knows how to have fun, and, bottom line, that is what counts.


3rd: Raptor


This used to be my favorite roller coaster off all time ever!  While it has fallen a bit from that lofty position, it is still an unquestionably great ride.  This inverted roller coaster offers a first drop with a  terrific feeling of free-fall.  It has six well placed inversions, with the zero-g roll being my favorite, and just in general, I love the sensation of flying that the inverted roller coasters create.  This is where Gatekeeper would probably of finished if it had a better ending, but Raptor makes no such mistakes and ends with a crushing heavy g-force spiral before slamming you into the break run.  Again, bigger and faster roller coasters have opened since this debuted, but this well designed roller coaster is standing the test of time.


2nd: Millennium Force


This ride is the reason that Top Thrill Dragster doesn't rank higher.  Although topping off at 92 mph and 310 feet, it isn't quite as tall or fast as the Dragster, but this is a complete ride, and the first drop here makes for the most intimidating site in the park.  Standing under it, waiting for your turn is gloriously nerve-wracking.  A quick accent and a giant plunge later, you are off to the races.  At 182 feet, the third hill here is comparable in height to the main hill on Magnum.  This ride just about has it all: non-stop speed, good airtime, heavily banked turns, tunnels, and hot damn is it fun.  It is 6595 feet long, but is over in one gigantic blur.  This has won the Golden Ticket award for best steel roller coaster for years running, and it isn't hard to see why.


1st: Maverick




Maverick doesn't have the height, length, number of inversions, or speed of some of the other rides at Cedar Point (though 70 mph is not exactly slow), but the creators of Maverick wield, with unerring skill, the greatest, and most underused, weapon in the roller coasters arsenal: surprise.  As much as I want to describe this roller coaster in detail, I am not going to say anything, because the less you know, the better it is.  It is full of constant twists, blindsides, and the best use of the corkscrew I have experienced.  This might also be a somewhat controversial choice, but this is the most fun I have ever had on a roller coaster.